It is 9:22 a.m.
I am doing everything I can to keep myself away from ads, promotions, deals, and even friends & family who are pushing to shop today. (My mom is talking with my kids in the background about what they want for Christmas. *sigh*)
It isn't that I think buying is bad...heck, it supports our economy. I could even shop small businesses today and help friends & strangers who are doing exactly what I want to do - make a living through passion.
But today - Black Friday - there is a pervasive energy of grasping. Clinging. Wanting. More. Different. New. I am horribly sensitive to this energy.
I love going to the hobby store or book store and - maybe twice a year - the clothing stores. I like local, small stores and big chains...all offering things that make my life comfortable and beautiful. Allow me to repeat - I don't think buying is bad. But mindless shopping? Out of control desire? The justification that appears to buy something when I didn't even know I needed or wanted it before? THAT tears me apart.
As I type this, I hold a printed out coupon to Borders in my lap. Part of me says, "it's a book! Buy a book on how to avoid clinging, a Buddhist book or book on the Yoga Sutras....". Yeah. Note the irony.
I want to post something today about the 4.5 mile race yesterday. About the chaos that was a beautiful Thanksgiving. About how I'm looking forward to our outing where we get hot chocolate and dance around a farm of trees to pick the one that will sacrifice itself to be the shining center of our home for the next month.
But I look down at the Borders coupon. In it, I see a mirror reflecting my true self. And I am reminded once again.