Being Breath

stories from the wilderness of everyday life

Swimming in the Pool of Almost There

Thank you for all of the encouraging comments on the last post! I do want to get back to each person individually - please know I'm saving those emails in my inbox until I respond!  (If you don't have an email attached to your profile, I may not be able to get back to you...just FYI.  It's not that I'm ignoring you.  Not YOU!  Seriously.)

The Do-Do (*snicker*) list hasn't gotten any shorter, but even recognizing it is there has put me in an intriguing place.  Right now, I'm wading around in this fascinating pool of Almost There.

Have you swam in this one?

It feels warm and comforting. However, it has frightening depths and every river leading out of this pool is swiftly moving around a bend to who-knows-where.
 
It is the place we know we can't stay but aren't sure we want to leave.
 
There isn't any one destination -- this isn't like a river cruise I went on where I'm almost to the final port. 
 
Rather, it is a pool leading on that has been created by all of the things I've been collecting - all of the creative waters, the grounding silt of the daily-do's (pile of laundry tackled - Yay!), the imaginative winds that have stirred every ancestral soul around my land -- souls that are now peeking from behind trees and leaves and clouds to see just when and if and how I'm going to move.
 
I can feel the pull of the rivers ahead already in my core, as if somehow there is already a line attached through my belly button that is ever-so-slowly pulling me away from this pool.
 
I know that my choices of which items on my to-do list I do (and how I do them) will make a difference in which river I'm swept into. 
 
I know that if I focus on the house (and then wanting to buy things to decorate said house...oooh, especially from Ikea.)
or if I focus on the kids (and spend each moment reading and playing and being with them)
or if I focus on my online development (and get that website updated)
or if I focus on my creative development or any combination thereof....

the universe is going to listen.  Those ancestral souls peering anxiously around me will take note.
 
They don't judge.  They simply observe and respond.  They will help pull me down the river that they see my energies drifting towards. 
 
I'm excited.  There are so many things moving the waters in this pool - family moving closer soon, an artful poetry book that will be completed within a few days, financial challenges that call for responses, and so on. 
 
What once was comfortable is no longer.  And you know what?  I'm ok with it. That's how life goes. That's part of what strength training allows - for me to be (more) comfortable with the inevitable uncomfortable
 
Sure I'd like to just ride down the river on an inner tube (in a bikini and a with a flat tummy...hey, it's MY dream!), glass of wine in hand, soaking up the sun and listening to the birds. 
 
But you know what?  I think I just lied to both of us.  I don't want just that.  That's not life.  That's not honoring this gorgeous, diverse, sometimes-scary, always fascinating landscape of a life with which I've been blessed.

How's your river flowin' these days??