Dedicating to the Real
I dedicate today to moving meditation.
I dedicate my awareness to those things that I often put aside in the name of "getting things done".
I honor the pains and suffering I am experiencing and acknowledge that you...every single one of you whose eyes fall upon these words...are suffering as well.
I am in pain because I've been to several doctors and they can't or won't treat me as a whole. I have hole in my abs, misalignment in my spine, pain around my core. Thousands of dollars later (stupid deductibles) I am no more the wiser as to treatment. I no longer know to whom to turn and have to go deeper than I ever have to find a wisdom if I am to heal myself and be guided to those who can assist.
Brief warning: Possible disturbing image below.
I am suffering because of this.
It is no one I know personally. And yet, awareness allowed me a glimpse at the personal effects, what appear to be nursing scrubs, and it connected in my mind to my mother. Awareness of death, of mortality followed. We all exist knowing of this mortality. And yet (without moping around in sheer depressed morbidity day-to-day) I believe we (I) can and need to bring awareness of impermanence into my life in a more consistent manner. (How can I feel so shallow, feel little to nothing, when I am again made aware of a fatal wreck or hundreds dying in a flood or ten more dying in a war across seas? Why do I have to allow myself to open to the pain? I am an emotional person - how blocked off must I be from myself?!)
And you? What are the roots of your suffering? There is no need to share it with anyone but yourself, but also be aware that none of us need to suffer alone. (If at all, but that's an entire other practice)
And then, together, we breathe - seriously, - now - and re-member. (Come back together.)
We dedicate the next few minutes to gratitude for those things with which we were blessed. Training and ability to read these words. A place in which to read them. A mind to process them. A body with which we can experience them. At least enough safety and security for these few moments to peacefully exist. How blessed are we??????
We do not forget our pains but we acknowledge that the suffering is optional. (again, another lesson.)
I wish I could share with you how important it is to maintain this awareness that life is more than our momentary disturbances. I wish I could remember it myself.
I wish we could celebrate together, through our aches and pains and tears, how beautiful every single moment truly is.
I wish we could start now.
Eh, why not...it's Friday.