First, thank you to all who checked in with me yesterday. The lipstick, braid, and smile all made things go smoothly.
The CT Scan was looking at my abdomen (for a hernia, but that word just sounds so annoyingly silly). I received a call from a nurse at my dr.'s office yesterday afternoon saying the test was "negative", which makes no sense. (I have a hernia...um, "hole"...that wasn't in question. The expensive test was done to determine the extent and if surgery is recommended.) I'll have to follow up tomorrow when my doctor is back in.
Today I woke up with a strong desire to be...well, ...strong. I ended up doing a strength training/cardio split (time with weights, time on elliptical, time with weights, etc.). Immediately after that, as part of DEEP (the 2nd part of the Fearless Painting adventure which I am SO SO thrilled to be a part of), I started to paint.
The point is that I did all of this to music - to the soundtrack for Avatar to be specific. If you are familiar with that music, you know it isn't necessarily fast paced. (I usually do my workouts to fast-paced, jammin' music to keep me motivated.) This morning, though, I was pursuing strength at all levels.
This music strengthened my body and my soul. They moved together. Each lift of the weight I was reminded that the breath I was taking in, that was bathing my muscles, is of the same source that keeps you alive.
Generally during workouts or even painting, I'm tempted to focus on what isn't working. ("Argh, how much longer on this machine???" "Damn that paint blob - the whole thing is ruined." "I can't believe I'm so out of shape and so out of practice....this is pathetic.") These thoughts flutter in and out. When my energy is high and the music pumpin', I usually bite back at them. I force them away with anger. It may work temporarily, but anger never solves anything permanently.
This morning, the music was the guiding force that kept my awareness focused. The thoughts were still there, but they became just a step in the dance that continued between my body, my mind, my soul, spirit, and smile. I had a spiritual workout.
I feel quite aware now. Not joyously happy or overly energetic, just aware.
If you are in a position to do so, pop on a song that makes you feel peacefully aware. It doesn't matter what it is, the tempo, the genre...just let it guide you to a place of peace. If only for a few minutes, let yourself be there.
If you don't have one, please share mine from this morning:
And actually...I'm quite aware that I'm hungry right now. Off I go....