Why I Do What I Do

It is about who I want to be.

Who I am inside and who I portray outside.

Who I am when I interact with others, and how I feel about that.

What I do when no one is watching, and how I feel about that.

It is about my default mode.

The thoughts that pop in my head and direct me when I am unaware of them.

Where I turn after a long day.

What foods I grab when I'm starving.

It is about how I want to feel.

How deeply I feel or how numb I am to it all.

Where my smiles originate - my mouth or my heart.

How much I care about quality - not of my life, but of this moment.

It is about how connected and aware I am.

Whether you appear to me as a mirror or a stranger.

If I see in myself (and the weed) the alive spirit or laugh it off as New Age

How easily I sink into the muck of ignorance or swim in the river of awareness.

It is why I do everything I do.  It is why I return again and again to those things that are difficult.  It is why I stumble - then stay down for a rest or get up and keep going.  It is why I cannot go along with the training others accept, the way I've been told things "should be", the way that would make life much easier and more comfortable.

It is why I do everything I do.

And You?