The Disappearing Facebook Post. (A.K.A. Do You Remember What It Is Like To Play?)

I tried to write this message on Facebook.

Facebook automatically deleted the post because it (the photo, I'm sure) went against their community standards.

After re-reviewing the community standards, I strongly disagree and have notified their (very unsatisfactory) customer service. We'll see if it gets re-posted.

Until then, I celebrate that I have my OWN SPACE where photos of, and conversations about, the human body and its expressions are not seen as shameful and something to be removed.

Here's what I shared:

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Do you remember what it is like to play?


I was having a fascinating conversation with a dear friend about the blog post I wrote this week on flirtation and seduction. She questioned, "what do you do when the other person takes your actions (flirting / seduction / etc) in a different way - in a way you didn't intend?".

In our conversation, she mentioned the term "situational awareness" - meaning you need to be aware of the situation you are in and how you are responding to it. (I love that concept.)

For example, if you are at a bar where the primary motivation of most people there is to hook up, you need to be aware that flirting (attempting to connect and play with ideas of "what if") will be interpreted in a different way than if you are at a friend's house and flirt with an acquaintance.

Be aware of your situation.

And. (Not "but" .... "And".)

Do not restrict who you are because of fear of how it will be interpreted.

I think this is a major reason that many of us tend to disappear and let our stories be forgotten. We show parts of ourselves that may be a bit challenging to the norm and those parts are rejected or misinterpreted. We don't know what to do with that pain, so we just stop sharing those stories - those parts of ourselves.

Myself? I love to be playful - with my mind and with my body. To entice someone to connect, then to challenge that person to see me, themselves, and their worldviews in different (perhaps unexpected) ways.

But previous attempts at this have resulted in a great deal of rejection and misunderstanding. I've been labeled a tease, told to stop using such "big words" (no joke), insulted for trying to "speak above" someone. Others have pushed in closer to me (emotionally and physically) than I desired, and been angry when I slow or stop the advancement.

I own up to my responsibilities in being either clear or confusing with my intentions and the resulting consequences, and (not "but", .... and) I am done with apologizing for who I am and how someone else interprets that.

This is me. I'm a married mother of 2, a creative, a thought-explorer, and a flirt and seductress. (See the recent blog post at to be clear on what I mean by those terms). I'm so much more than all of that, and I'm just starting to find the braveness to share all of those parts of me.


Do not restrict who you are because of fear of how it will be interpreted.

Share your stories, even as your voice shakes.

Remember what it feels like to play with your mundane life in the fullness of who you are.


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