Sneaking Up On Myself

I had no intentions of following through.

I convinced myself that breaking my plans wasn't the end of the world.

I slogged through the have-to's, grudgingly doing only the things that would create more hassle for me if they weren't done.

I kept breathing, although shallow, kept debating with myself about what I should be doing.

I can be quite nasty with myself, so to quiet the bickering I did one teensy eensy little thing that required almost no effort but that didn't have to be done.

Surprisingly, I felt a bit better.

So I did one more ever-so-slight tweak of my plans, took one deep breath amidst the shallow ones.

Each time, I snuck up on myself.

My spirit kept giggling like a child anxiously awaiting to be found in a game of hide-and-seek.

And when the game was done, I discovered I had won.

Amidst all of the complaining and over-thinking and fatigue and groaning....

I found the strength to just move.

EIGHT MILES.

What will you find the strength to do today??

(I hope that amidst your journeys you take a moment to visit my sister's new blog, "Kaizen"! She's a lovely mommy starting to sing with her own beautiful voice ... I know if she finds half the love I have through blogging her voice will only get stronger.)

Artistic Mother: Week 1

What an interesting start!

For those not familiar with this, I will be posting weekly updates as part of the Artistic Mother's Group (see the link on my sidebar) which is hosted by Trudy Callan and following Shona Cole's book, The Artistic Mother.

As part of copyright laws (Eww. Laws.), I have to limit the details I share as far as the steps go. (Honestly, I really want you to by Shona's book...so I wouldn't share it even if I was allowed. If you need encouragement, think about this: I RARELY pay full price for a book. Half Price Books is my favorite store. I use Borders' store coupons whenever I possibly can. I am an open cheapskate. For her book - I paid full price. I would have even paid more had I known all that I'd get out of it.)

I have a deliciously fun group of background papers that I'm pretty sure are going to get torn up over the next few weeks (part of the process in the book...not because of my own frustrations).

However, I'm still working with my fears of messing with any of my original materials (old books, rub-on transfers that can't be re-used, etc!)...so that is going to be a BIG step.

The backgrounds - without finished edges:

(These are using only the limited acrylic colors I had on hand and the blends I could make with those. I'm anxious to purchase some more paints but wanted to see what I could do with these before I went crazy at the store! As mentioned, these are also without the oil-pastel finished edges, which I have since completed.)

For now, I've scanned the backgrounds I've created so I'll at least have a digital copy. (Yeah. I know it's some deep issue I have to deal with. One thing at a time.)

And I'm still quite (ok, somewhat) happy working on the dining room floor. It keeps the materials where I will be reminded to use them and allows me a huge amount of room to spread out. (And the basement has a very light colored carpet....that strikes fear in my heart even thinking about painting around that.)

I'll admit to leaving materials out but I have a very loving and understanding family. The only part I don't look forward to is picking them back up when the mess gets too great for me to even find things! Creative space is a whole other post....

Finding time hasn't been that difficult BUT my hubby has been on vacation this week....and the house is TRULY a mess. (And I'm behind on reading my poetry, but I don't feel so bad about that. I know I'll read oodles of them once I sit down to do so.) We'll see how things progress from here!

AND -- my endeavors inspired our kiddos too, which is one of the greatest benefits of this whole thing.

In keeping with the spirit of the Artistic (+) Mother, I created a sheet for my son. (Ironically, he saw the background sheets I'd painted lying on the floor this evening and asked if he could hang one up in his room. Everyone together now: "AWWWW!" I'm still melting.)

If you've been reading the blog you know we've been having some troubles with his behavior. He's only in Kindergarten, but it has been enough to warrant concern. In the past month or so, he's been drastically improving...but little reminders can't hurt! (And I don't think you can ever tell or show your child enough that you love her/him.)

(This is a scan of the painted/stamped background, then text added in Photoshop CS2. I have since printed this out and used decorative scissors to trim the edges, and have plans to further color/embellish it.)

I am so happy I joined this group because it, along with Connie's workshop, is keeping me accountable to my creative work. And that work is keeping me tied to that bigger project which is getting ready to boil over...gotta figure out how I'm going to serve it, and SOON!

For now, I need to quiet my thoughts if I have any hope of falling asleep tonight. Aren't these lovely, quiet evening hours just delicious?!

Movin' Right Along

(Training Update)

As a reminder, I post these for anyone who is "training" or might even consider taking one step on the road to a healthier self....physically and/or otherwise. Keeping that in mind, know that the details I provide are to encourage us to remember the trials - and therefore, accomplishments - that come along with this journey. They are not to discourage anyone from trying to start...or continue.

So.

I ran SEVEN miles last Sunday. Seven. Honestly. And my sister, my lovely, lovely sister, ran the whole thing with me. We went at a slower pace (as she had only run a max of 4 miles before and I was kind of concerned about her pushing it), but both finished with ample energy. My hubby joined us at four miles - I'm so proud of them both.

For anyone who thinks this is impossible, allow me to remind you where we started by referencing this post back in Oct 2009. For those who don't want to visit the link, I was absolutely thrilled to have run (jogged) for 25 minutes. (Which I STILL think is an accomplishment!) The seven miles? We ran for 1 hour and 20 minutes.

I started off as a non-runner...one of those who would joke about other runners. And yet, here I am.

What I've Done:

*Ok, I've neglected to keep track. I admit it. Here's what I remember:

*Tuesday: Dropped my son off at school, left my car there, and ran home. 2.7 miles with some WICKED hills. (Seriously, one is an incline for 7/10ths of a mile.)

*Wednesday: Weight training. Biking (indoors) for 15 minutes.

*Thursday: Ran 3 miles ...outside. In the rain. tee hee.

What I Learned:

*There is simply too much to keep incorporating in these "What I've Learned" sections. Every step is another lesson. All I can recommend is to take that first step...and find out for yourself.

*One thing I will add: Humor is INVALUABLE.

It wasn't raining today when I started running. At around a mile, the rain came in...and the wind was FIERCE. I rounded one corner of the track where the wind was constantly stronger and was PELTED by rain.

I just cried out and then laughed - out loud - for as many breaths as I could. All I could think was,

"I'm doing this! My god I'm CRAZY but I'm DOING THIS!"

How can you not laugh at that?!

Lighten up. Take a step whether its into the sunshine or the rain. Keep your face up and smile.

Be strong and joyful and mindful with every moment....

Opportunities Abound...

As spring shows its lovely wings here in Indiana, I find myself hoarding the strength and grounding that winter brought. It is so easy to get carried away on days like this - sunshine-y, warm, full of energy.

I thank those who have provided (and continue to provide) me with those ties to myself, my soul, so that my spirit doesn't get to flitty.

I recently purchased an AMAZING piece of art from Rachel Awes at http://allididwaslisten.blogspot.com. I (and others) have long admired her work online...luckily, she just opened her Esty shop! Really...how lucky am I to have this inspiration facing me every day:

I'd go visit her Etsy shop now...you're bound to find one that calls to you.

And WOW - want to know about hidden gems? I've followed Sara Ortiz at her blog (http://creativityonamission.blogspot.com/) for a bit. She recently offered a FREE (yup, free) 30 minute "Idea Jam Session" to the first 20 people who replied. I jumped on it because, well, who doesn't need a good jam session?? (That, and her idea of being a Renaissance Soul really called to me!)

We had our session this morning and I left feeling SO energized. I filled out a questionnaire for her before the call and she just zeroed right in on some ideas that could get me more centered, productive, and moving forward from this point. (Displaying my completed research & art for tangible motivation and reminders that I'm progressing? Love it!! I don't want to give away all the ideas, but she has so many more...) I've already picked up a book from the library that she recommended, "The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One". Hah - I bet that ressonated with some of my readers!

There is absolutely NO reason not to jump over there right now and email her for a session. You have NOTHING to lose and SO much to gain! (Really. Ok, read the rest of my post and then go. The link is right HERE.)

AND - Trudy Callan is hosting the Artistic Mothers Group, based off of Shona Cole's amazing book, "The Artistic Mother"...it starts today! Check out the link at the top of my sidebar! This promises to be an AMAZING journey.

(I ADORE the advice in Shona's book, which I've already been through...and am excited to have some accountability to get some of the projects done! Really, I can't imagine that I will really be holding some of my own creations in my hands soon.

This, on top of the deep messages, fascinating techniques, and stunning insights I keep getting from Connie's Art Journal Love Letters workshop...WHOA.

Given all of the above, I'm trying to come up with a different term for what I "do" than "stay-at-home mom" 'cause, oh my, that just doesn't do it justice. Ah, my friends, but that is another post.

(Ok, now scroll back up and visit those links. You'll be happy you did.)

Journaling Into My Past

I have (yet another) new passion.

Last weekend we stayed at my mother's house and ended up pulling out a huge box of documents and old family photos. Holding those frail photos in my hands and reading profound thoughts that my ancestors shared rekindled an interest in researching my family history.

When I get into something, I REALLY get into it. Last night, I was up until 1 a.m. following one lead after another, trying one more search term in Google. This is an addictive treasure hunt.

In hopes that I don't get too caught up in this, I'm trying to integrate this fascination with my ongoing life.

For example, I shared the art journal page with the grid that I originally intended to house photos of the different aspects of me (mother, wife, yogini, etc.). That grid is now going to combine some of the magnificent photos we uncovered of those who created and remain in my soul.

I'm still working on it, but here's a more updated version (I added chalk and oil pastels and did some outlining with charcoal pencil):

I have yet to decide which photos will be included, but am so excited to share just a few:

This is my great-great grandmother on my father's side, Carrie Deffaulx. (We believe her name might have been "Marna", but we're not sure if that is a first or middle name.)

Isn't she just lovely? Those eyes are captivating.

This is her husband, (my great-great grandfather), Louis Deffaulx.

I LOVE the moustache and hat. We have record that he was born in France and became an American citizen sometime during his life. Apparently, his parents owned a vineyard...ooooh, how I would love to learn more about that!!

One more photo to share that really speaks to me. This is Carrie's daughter, May, who would be my great-great aunt...is that right? (May's sister is my great-grandmother.) (I never met May.)

This photo draws my heartstrings together. She is me, and I am her.

I'm just giddy about all of this but am really trying to maintain balance....thus, I'm off to play with my daughter and her legos. :)

Do you have any tips for researching family history (for free?!)? I'd love to know them!