Being Aware of the Process
As part of my continued efforts in the Art Every Day Month, I spent several hours painting yesterday.
Part of my progress is learning technique, practicing that which I am very slowly learning from books and websites. One of those techniques was outlining the painting before starting. (Just one way of doing a painting.)
This is where I started (no real idea - just painted lines in movement):
And this is where it finished:
It is what it is. A play of color (blending various colors to see what happens) and just letting the brush flow with no real goal other than exploration.
Immediately after, I had to begin her: (work in progress)
And I hated it. Strike that - I was very very strongly frustrated at the several hours of painting progress. (For those who follow me on Facebook, this is the profile I was speaking about struggling with very late last night.)
The first painting seemed too simple, too trite and light-hearted. The second had the message and depth, but I spent well over an hour working on the profile face...and still know it is not "right".
Don't get me wrong - I am more than thrilled at the time I spent actually creating. That I sat down and DID these is an accomplishment.
And lest you think I've lost myself in the reflections on triteness and/or the painting being "right"...
I've yet to mention the best part: The awareness of all of this. Truly, "I" am peaceful - with the process, with the outcomes. "I" am the one who is aware of the frustration, the clinging to perfection or need for a masterpiece each time I create something. I may be frustrated, but as long as I stay in the awareness of the frustration - not the frustration itself - my practice, my creativity will continue.
Next time you sit down to type a paper, paint a picture, or cook a meal...try staying in the awareness beyond your emotions.
Dwell in the curiosity.
And if you are so inclined, let me know how it goes.