Being Breath

stories from the wilderness of everyday life

Changes

Acknowledging the flow of change, heeding the gifts of knowledge and wisdom I've been given, I move.

You will notice small changes around here.  Eventually, you will notice some bigger changes.

They are just symptoms, consequences, results of deep stirring.  

I was unbelievably fortunate to win a web review from Lea Woodward.  Her deliciously simple yet profound suggestions will be implemented as I dance in between the computer and laundry.  (More on Lea and those changes later)

I was also unbelievably fortunate to, for whatever reason, begin to embody my life after years of trying to understand it.  This has come through on the site.  Many of you have noticed a different depth to this blog.  (Thank you to those who commented on this - it feels quite comforting to be seen.)  That will only be growing.

I've tried different strategies with this site over the months - yoga, art, parenting, running, overarching philosophies.  But that's the problem...I've been trying.

Whatever finally cracked, or opened, or set flight several weeks ago in my life created a space for breath that was desperately needed.  A sense of just being instead of trying.  An acknowledgment of the chaotic flurry that my life is right now and a deliberate slowing...while still accepting what is, chaotic or not.

This site is a tool.  It is a way of expressing that which I feel called to express.

It includes thoughts on yoga and movement, but it isn't about yoga.

It includes musings and pieces of art and creative expression, but it isn't an art or craft blog.

It even includes Buddhist ideas, reflections on running and biking and swimming, and admissions about laundry.  But this site isn't about those, just as my life isn't about training for an event or housework.

I live to experience.  I view art as expression of experience.  This site is my art, my gift, my expression into the world.  

Here's where I'm supposed to say what this has to do with you.  Hook you in, give you a reason to follow and sign up for my newsletter.  But no matter how many approaches I take, I can't find the hook to attach to the line.  

I think it is because this isn't about you.  Nor is it about me.  It is how I feel moved to live (from places that have no words) and what I feel called to share (for reasons that have no logic nor hook).  

In a world where a marketing plan, consistent messages, and a tag-line are the food and water of survival, I may be voluntarily starving myself to death.  But I can no longer eat the things that are being fed to me when their lack of substance and vitality are killing me anyway.

I have faith (have to have faith) that these words, my art will find the people to whom they need to speak.  That they will create the impressions that need creating.  Any other way of moving invites Trying to dance - and I'm tired of dancing his nonsensical, non-flowing steps.

But there is also a space in between the flow - the right now - and possibility.  It is beautiful to stay in the flow, to lose track of time, to simply breathe with what is.  Whether it is a human gift, a responsibility I have because of the blessings I've been given, or just some quirk, I feel deeply called to extend my hands into that powerful space between what is and what might be.

In that space we all create.  When we move mindfully, keeping our hearts in the present and extending our hands to create, change consciously occurs.  

And this, dear readers, this is where I am.  I AM.  I feel and am following the stirring to effect change, to extend my hands into creative space, to shape this blog, my home, my body, my art.  I am moving slowly and with full awareness, being careful not to get swept up in the creating in sacrifice of the being.  I am experiencing without judgment, creating without purpose, being without trying.

May we continue to enjoy the dance together.

Namaste.