Every Little Thing Begets Everything (a.k.a. Yes, This Matters)
I have nothing to say, so I'm going to say it.
That is to say, of all of the things I have to say, nothing seems the most important. So that's what I will write.
For months now, a change has been brewing, alchemizing deep in the darkness of my inner most being. There is no solid result yet, no "aha!" that warrants a big reveal. And yet, the side effects are worth noting.
You might have seen me less if you are one of my online-only friends. I've blogged less, been somewhat less active on Facebook, and completely dropped off of Twitter. I've not sent out a newsletter in months. But all of this less has actually meant there is so much more.
More time to paint. More time to join friends, local artists, and business people for lunches at quaint little restaurants. More time to read, to walk and jog, to clean (yes, really), to offer my voice to collaborative projects, to go on photo safaris, and to spend time with my husband, son, and daughter.
All of this less and more is this wave of change. It has been one of the most powerful changes that has happened in my life.
I am more confident in my own art and in my own body. I am less resistant to new ideas and new people, more willing to let their judgments flow through and less needing of their approval. I am less afraid and more compassionate. I am less willing to live in clutter and noise and more willing to do something about it.
Like the quiet river that takes years to carve the Grand Canyon, this change is nothing spectacular when scrutinized up close. But as each day and each month wears on, my life looks and feels that much different. And in comparison to myself at this time last year? I smile in awe.
So what, you might ask, has brought about this change?
Nothing, really. No big dramatic lifestyle switches. I didn't cut out gluten from my diet nor declutter my wardrobe down to 10 items nor start some fantastic new business program. (I tried to commit to daily meditation and exercise. That...well....let's just say it is still a practice in progress.)
Instead, it has been everything that has changed. Every little moment.
Because that's what makes up a life, no?
As I am apt to say, my life is my practice. And in the past several months, I've started walking my talk.
It wasn't even a conscious change, really, as one might consciously go to the grocery store and choose the organic apples over the non-organic ones in order to be more healthy or eco-friendly or socially hip. It was just a choice after a choice, staying aware of the consequences and staying aware of what arose after that.
I noticed that I felt better when I kindly spoke my truth and listened intently with curiosity during in-person meetings (less drained than I usually am). That led to feeling more comfortable in those meetings, better about scheduling another one, and thus, more in-person meetings.
I noticed that I had more energy when I exercised in the morning - but tended to skip exercising if I felt overly-challenged. That led to simply walking for 30 minutes a day (most days), and running when I felt like it. (This has been hard as I used to train for half marathons and still feel tied to improving my pace each time.) This has led to greater awareness of my own health, not only when I'm exercising, but when I'm eating and sitting as well.
I noticed that I felt better, the person I was speaking to felt better, and everyone just felt super better, when I was kind. Not when I was expecting kindness of another, but when I WAS kind. That requires far more thought-work prior to the situation than you'd imagine, but far less time and energy in the moment than you'd expect. This work has led to countless more smiles, fights avoided, and who knows what types of ripples into the world.
I noticed that I moved better during the day in a house that had less clutter and smelled better (odd, but true). So I started making more efforts to pick up things as I noticed them and boiled water, cinnamon, and lemon on the stove just for me. (Something I used to only do for guests.) This has led to a cascade of cleaning efforts by all of our family members over the past several weeks.
Each time, one thing led to another...or as has been circling through my mind,
A begets A, B begets B. ("Beget". Isn't that a strange word to have stuck on one's mind?)
One little action begets a similar action. It leads its way down a path, as one step to the right will beget another step to the right. It's a funny thing to notice and a powerful thing with which to play.
I could go on.
But I'm feeling less called to write and more interested in hearing what writing does for you. You took the time to read it, amidst all of the other things that you have to do today. I'm curious what arose, of what you became aware, and what you will do with this when you stop reading.
No need to add more noise to your life. No more judgments about what you should be doing instead of what you are already doing. All of this - it's really nothing.
So breathe. Continue about your day. Maybe peek around every once in awhile, notice how things are changing, notice how you are reacting and acting within that change. Maybe a bit less here, a bit more there. A bit of conscious begetting.
No big ending.
Just another moment arising...