I Am Alone.
This morning, I am alone.
It is a blissful alone - kids happily entertained elsewhere, husband at work.
It is a rare alone - I cannot remember the last few hours I had with no other family members present.
It is a reflective alone.
Suddenly I am face-to-face with the decisions of what to do, who to be. Of course there are things needing to be done. (I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to wash those clothes again that have sat in the washer for too long.) I have tons of emails to catch up on, an impending deadline for a project that will take several more hours, books that are due back to the library today that aren't finished.
I have an opportunity to clean the house without a new mess being created behind me.
It is quiet - I could finally meditate in peace.
I could go for a walk without taking a jogging stroller. I could take my camera to my favorite park and wait for a hawk or a gentle breeze. I could go sit at Starbucks and just drink my chai and write.
The funny thing is....in all reality, I always have the choice of what to do. Certain choices will have different consequences when I'm alone versus with my little ones or with friends. (Meditation may not yield the same results while the sound of legos hitting the floor radiates behind me. Going to the playground right now probably won't bring the same enjoyment as if I had little eyes to share it with.)
I, you, every one of us...we all have every moment of our lives to decide how to live.
Sometimes we feel more boxed in. Restricted. We feel as though we "have" to do one thing one way, or else....
And yet, we forget that the "or else" is just another choice. That thing we have to do? It has consequences too. Going to work may mean we get the bills paid, but if it is a droning job that lulls us into habit and a false sense of security, we may spend 40 years of our lives missing out on the opportunity to truly live. On the other hand, quitting the job may mean we miss out on a security that allows us to find ourselves in the "off time", and to learn how to practice discipline for doing those things we'd sometimes rather not.
I'm off to carefully and consciouslly and with full gratitude make my next choice, embrace my next moment.
Whether you are alone this morning or not, I invite you to do the same.