Being Breath

stories from the wilderness of everyday life

Openness, Courage, and Connection

Note: In case you missed it, the posts this week will all be touching upon Life Unity ...in one way or another.  See the post here for more information.

While I have so many topics on which to write, I have no specific order in which I felt I needed to share them. I just try to listen to how the day goes and write what feels timely and appropriate.

Unfortunately, yesterday it was hard to hear.  The winds of change were so strong that they thundered in my ear, pounding and moving every cell in my body.  Even sitting down to write felt like I and my thoughts would blow away.

There is an energy swelling so strong throughout the world that I cannot be the only one to see this.  Those who I am proud to call friends and complete strangers are tapping into this uneasiness, this restlessness, calling out to one another via blogs and social networks.  You must be sensing it as well...so many unhappy with this way our lives are headed.... or perhaps just feeling "off"....or hearing that call for something different....perhaps, like me, awakening to the feminine principles that have been missing from life.  

Amidst all of this awareness of suffering, so many seem to be noticing, perhaps for the first time in their drudgery and fear, that there is something that feels better.  Something.....something.....something....

Yesterday I started many different posts.  Writing on connotations of the words masculine and feminine, responding to beautiful conversations started in the comments area, sharing my thoughts on power and how it plays in, figuring out how to share the painting I'd done ...

At 9:00 at night, after the kids were in bed and hubby fully ensconced in his reading, I finally reached the edge of my thoughts.  I had read several more pages in The Dance of the Dissident Daughter.  I had been journaling all day and night, capturing phrases from the book as well as overheard conversation from our dinner out that night.  My energy was so strong that I was almost shaking.

I went out to our back deck and just sat.  I took in the trees, the birds hopping and singing,  the fading light - all of these oblivious to ...or perhaps accepting of...my presence.  Thoughts whisked in and out like the breeze that swelled and rested upon the leaves.

Suddenly, I found myself sweeping.  Yes, sweeping.  We have a large deck and upon it was a winter's worth of fallen limbs and leaves, furniture covered in layers of the season.  I felt called - in almost full darkness - to sweep it all away.  

Thirty minutes later, I am sitting down to write this.

I want to delve into what this meant, how it could capture the essence of this feminine space I am trying to bring back into my life.  How I am sweeping away debris no longer needed....blah blah blah.

Right now, those reasons don't matter.  Because what I realize as I sit here typing with the words flowing is sometimes we don't need to worry about why or how or even what.  

We just need to be open enough to listen, courageous enough to respond, and feel connected enough to share the stories that we experience.

 We need to trust that life is flowing and that whatever we feel we should be doing contrary to this flow can wait.  Call it feminine intuition, mindful living, whatever.

Sometimes, the words just get in the way.

We embrace the mystery of what is, experience it as fully as we can in the moment, swoosh our judgments out of the way so we experience with full awareness, and then share.  And repeat.

And here I sit, still typing, still talking.  Too many words.  I almost can't hear myself over all of this chatter.  I think I'll go listen some more.

And if you'd like to share your stories...I'd love to listen to those, too.

Namaste.