The Life I Should Be Living
Image Source, Creative Commons: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cmarte/6936205690/
The morning didn't go as I'd planned. Neither did yesterday, come to think of it.
A snow day yesterday, kids home from school. The day looked completely different than the quiet, book-writing, house-cleaning, slow-paced day I'd planned.
This morning, a late bus requiring me to take 4 kids to school, and a neighbor needing a ride. I hadn't even showered.
On the way home, my husband called. I lamented over the morning, complaining, "I'll be home shortly - yes, fifty minutes after I SHOULD have been home this morning." He laughed knowingly, because that's what we all do when we complain to one another. We commiserate in our suffering.
But after I hung up, that "should" word kept running around in my thoughts.
Sure, I was planning on dropping the kids off at the bus and walking leisurely back home to make a pot of coffee or maybe an iced chai. But why was I so concerned that what actually happened didn't match what I'd planned in my head?
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
- John Lennon
I'll admit to still being a bit tense by the time I pulled my car in the garage. But the simple release of what should be happening opened a bit more space in my thoughts, which opened a bit more space in my body and my being.
It is that space into which I breathe as I type this, releasing again and again my clinging to the life that should be happening and simply living the one that is.