It is too much.
I invite you to enter this awareness with me.
Take a moment when you are done reading this to reflect on all that is in your life. (Write it down if you choose but beware - you'll need several pieces of paper.)
Think about upcoming deadlines. Think about unfinished projects around the house. Reflect on unresolved issues with people from your past and present. Contemplate the dreams you had the other day that got you excited but fell by the wayside. Look at the pile of laundry waiting to be done. Wonder about the meals you've eaten (and whether or not they were healthy) and the meals you've yet to plan (take out tonight?).
Think about the car. The bills that are upcoming. The money in your bank account. Your email account(s). The phone call you've been meaning to make - but haven't. The friend you still need to get in touch with. Those social plans that you've been wanting to make, but haven't found the time for.
Think about your job - wherever your income is coming from. Think about those on which you rely. If you have kids, think about where they are and what they are doing and how you are interacting with them. Think about your spiritual life and practice (or lack thereof). Think about your physical health and workouts (or lack thereof). Think about those medical appointments that have yet to be scheduled. (Dentist?) Think about insurance.
We live with this every moment of our lives. These fluctuating thoughts, happinesses, worries, memories, pains, joys, dreams...they exist simultaneously with our outer lives. They are still there as we drive down the street, send our emails, work at our jobs, interact with our family and friends. They are still there on top of the "to-do's".
And yet we feel like somehow, we need to do more. Be more. That things should be different. Have more. Bigger home. Deeper spiritual practice. Better body. More space. Less crap. Less drama. Less clutter. More time.
I do not have any answers, but I do know that if we are ever to save ourselves...if we are to truly function as awakened human beings outside of our mundane fears and traps...that this is all too much.
We must find a way to be present (to live mindfully, aware in the moment) while functioning in a society that may not be so present. We must feel this open sense of flow, strong core, expansion, self-expression, being...while paying the bills, cleaning up the spills, doing.
There are blogs and books and websites and e-books and programs and workshops that offer paths (and sometimes attempt concrete answers). Inspiration is wonderful and connection is essential, but it doesn't provide experiential answers for our own unique life. It doesn't alleviate or remove the responsibility you have for awakening to your own moments - whatever your situation may be.
The only suggestion I have for right now?
(And a smile never hurts.)