Returning

Photo, taken by my son, of me on an adventure during our recent vacation

Have you ever come home from a vacation or conference, finished a powerful book or podcast or television series, and for a period of time, felt completely disoriented?

Here you are, back in “real life”, but that alternate reality just won’t let go.

In these brief hours, you are thrown into a different perspective on the same reality. You are shown (or reminded) that this life to which you’ve become so habituated may not be all there is. As the memories and stories from the vacation, conference, book, television series, or podcast weave with your current reality, your mind tries to make sense of it all.

That is where I find myself right now. 

I am back to my home, to driving to tennis lessons, to cleaning and laundry and to Being Breath after a 9-day vacation.

And yet, I cannot shake this...sense...these questions of why am I doing this? what else could I be doing? how could I be doing what I'm doing, differently? how would this change my experience of daily life?

For Being Breath, I know that I have a deep calling to reach out and attract other people to the feelings of being self-aware, and ALIVE, and creatively engaged.

I just am not exactly sure what the most impactful way is to do that … and the ways that are most sustainable in my current lifestyle. And admittedly, right now, I feel tired and just want to get other things in my life back in order.

For my home life - well, do you ever question this? What sort of things do you ask yourself? How would it feel to change the paint color in this room? What if we just moved to a different state or country - what would daily life feel like? What if I added a chair over in that corner, or got rid of the chair in that one?

Same for your wardrobe. Or your relationships. Or the books you read, the shows you watch, the food you eat…

You know that every tiny decision you make can ripple into profound changes in your life. And yet, so many of us sleepwalk through those tiny decisions.

This vacation provided a (needed, if not exactly wanted) shake-up in my daily life … a temporary waking from my sleepwalking. Things may resettle looking exactly like they did before they left. Or they may not.

But what I am doing - and what I encourage each of you to do - is to not let them resettle too quickly, or without my conscious involvement in the process.

This means that I’m looking at my home with fresh eyes (for as long as I can keep them that way). I’m looking at my routines, my relationships, my clothing, my beliefs … all of it, with a more open mind.

And I ask, again and again,

In what type of world do I want to be living? What type of life do I want to be experiencing?

How is what I am doing right now creating or moving me away from that life?

Here’s to the challenging - and worthwhile - process of returning….